My Fearless Predictions for 2020

At some point during the dawn of the Roaring Twenties, I will be awarded the key to the city by the mayor of Destin. Which I will promptly lose between the driver’s seat and the center console in my car.

 

The first floating hotel will open on Crab Island on Memorial Day weekend. It will be wildly unsuccessful. Google “Sleepwalking Fail” come summertime.

 

Dozens more mattress stores, vape shops and Thai restaurants will open in Fort Walton Beach, bringing the total to I can’t even count that high.

 

The crews working on Highway 98 in Destin will make considerable progress in 2020, bumping up the estimated completion date to Labor Day 2037.

 

Eddie Murphy and Adam Sandler will tie for Best Actor at the 2020 Academy Awards for Dolemite Is My Name and Uncut Gems, respectively. I can dream, can’t I?

 

Popular words that will be introduced in the new year:

 

LIBFLAKE, less offensive than what’s currently being used but will still have the same tear-stained effect on its intended audience…

 

SNOWBREAKERS, the folks who visit here during the Snowbird/Spring Break overlap and can’t make up their minds which group to hang with—or avoid. Most Snowbreakers show up early at Publix and buy up not only all the fresh bread but the beer, too…

 

SPRINGBIRDS, because a fervent, hate-spewing segment of the population will insist that it’s catchier than Snowbreakers. Lots of vile back and forth will happen on Facebook, and Mark Zuckerberg will be able to purchase a small country for himself.

 

Woman Yelling at Cat and running mate Smudge the Cat will win the Democratic presidential nomination by a landslide. The incumbent will demand proof of Smudge’s humanness, and Twitter will break.

 

I will win the Powerball jackpot and promptly blow all the money hiring Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Keith Richards and Mick Jagger to perform at my birthday party as the Rolling Beatles.

 

And once again, the Emerald Coast will skip winter.

Love, Editor Manson

 

 

YOUR THOUGHTS AND COMMENTS

Great story about Harold, Charles Morgan (“In Memoriam: Harold Destin,” Dec. 5, 2019-Jan. 1, 2020 Beachcomber). I sat with him at Muriel Destin’s funeral and we reminisced about Hog’s Breath Saloon and Harbor Docks. I was sad to see he passed away so quickly.

– Linda Quinlan via Facebook

 

 

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