By Dawn Bright
I had a routine checkup recently and was told I need to drink more water. Water is apparently really good for your kidney health, and while my kidneys are in great shape, my doctor wants to take an aggressive approach to keeping them that way. I’m not a big water drinker, so was wondering—does beer count as water?
– JD, Laurel Hill
Wouldn’t it be a wonderful world if beer did count as water, JD? But unfortunately, no, it doesn’t. Any alcoholic beverage, no matter how clear it is, is a DE-hydrator, and what you want from water is hydration. And don’t ask about vodka or gin, because even though they look like water, they don’t count either. My advice is to hold your nose and drink the water. That’s what I have to do every day.
I have this really great robe that I bought in 2003 during the grand opening of Destin Commons. So even though the robe is 15-years old, there’s not a thing wrong with it. The problem is my adult daughters think I need to buy a new one. Why? Why should I buy a new robe just because I’ve had it for a while?!
– Debby G., Niceville
Interesting question, Debby. If you think about things that can last for 15 years or more, the first thing I think of is my own Maytag washer and dryer which have totally lived up to their hyped-up ads. But you can also expect 15-plus years from kitchen cabinets, shower doors, wooden decks and quite a few other building materials. And did you know powdered milk can last 20 years? Dried beans, pasta and oats 30 years? And honey lasts forever?
I guess my point is if you can keep a bag of dried beans in your pantry for 30 years, why not a robe in your closet for 15? You can, so keep it! Wear it until it’s nothing but threads! And when you’re good and ready, go buy yourself a new one. Just be sure it’s something you’re still going to love in 15 years!
You’re pretty funny. I’m wondering why you aren’t famous?
– Kristi D., Destin
I’ve wondered that myself, Kristy. Everybody knows Kanye West and the Kardashians’ names. Even Google. I misspelled both of those names and Google immediately corrected them. But people like me will simply remain unknown forever. I kind of think it has to do with your role models. My dad, for example, was a soft-spoken gentleman who could build or fix anything, but he never went viral for his skills, and if you don’t make the paper or go viral you can just forget about becoming famous. Think Caitlyn Jenner for a second, and you’ll know what I’m talking about.
I can’t believe some of the things I’ve seen on YouTube. But you can believe this. I won’t be posing in front of a camera while I write my column. It’s a personal choice for privacy. I wish more people would make that choice. If you’re going to do something crazy, like parachute off your roof with a sheet or drive a motorized ironing board, why don’t you just keep that to yourself? Ain’t nobody got time for that!
You know who said that? Kimberly “Sweet Brown” Wilkins. A YouTube sensation who became famous for describing a house fire. And that just about sums it up.
Dawn Bright is an eternal optimist. And that’s pretty much all you need to know about her. Email your questions to email@example.com.