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Thursday, March 15th, 2012

Opening Remarks - Beachcomber Don’t Bump, Y ’all

We went to Lewis Black’s recent show at the Mattie Kelly Arts Center in Niceville and liked what we heard. Best of all, the comedian stuck around after the show to sign autographs and pose for photos, even for the folks who didn’t buy any merchandise. We featured him on the cover last issue and interviewed him by phone, but were courteous enough to wait ‘til he got through with the old hippie chick at the end of the line before approaching him with our notes on which jokes worked and which ones didn’t.

At the start of the show, I felt a pang in my heart when Black asked someone offstage for the names of the local newspapers. I thought he might give his Beachcomber buds a shout out, but no. He wanted to rip on a couple of Niceville rags that refused to run advertising for his performance. Really? I’m as baffled as Black, because in this day and age, what print publication in its right mind would refuse paid advertising for anything short of a Ku Klux Klan rally? Even the daily newspaper—part of a corporate behemoth—was running half pagers for some sort of “Secrets of the Porn Stars” sex life rejuvenator a few months back. I would have happily run that ad, too, though our readers might have suspected it was fake.

Why refuse an ad from Lewis Black? His political leanings are obvious to anyone who has heard “Democrats and Republicans” from Stark Raving Black. They’re all idiots. And even if you disagree with him, he’s a comedian for cry eye. With money. To buy advertising. Maybe the powers that be were offended by his 2009 book Me of Little Faith, in which Black makes fun of every religion. I tried to approach these papers for their side of things, but I’m pretty sure they’ve gone out of business.

I want to let everyone out there know that the Beachcomber will accept advertising for just about anything. If that nut on Beal Parkway in Fort Walton Beach wants to run a full pager calling President Obama’s inauguration “Day of Darkness”—like that eyesore of a sign he has posted on his property—we will happily take his money and laugh all the way to the bank. I may not like hatemonger Rush Limbaugh, but behind Henderson Park Inn. Our weeks if he wants to pay for a two-page spread in of gloomy weather had finally blown over, these pages…well, our readers have a right to know about him, yes?

Kids, if you’re Kool-Aid stands are struggling, talk to one of our sales reps. And Lewis Black, if you want to advertise the additional dates and cities for your tour in these pages, we welcome you with open arms. After all, we have a new FREE app for the iPad® and a fantastic new Web site ( that is accessible to people all over the world.

No joke.



PR goddess Jessica Proffitt says: “My best friend Amy Wright was in town from Asheville, North Carolina, and we decided to take an afternoon stroll along the beach and we were ready to soak up some sunshine. I just happened to snap this shot with my iPhone, and if you look closely, the guy is actually holding an American flag, and that plane in the distance is one of our fighter jets. Truly a beautiful sight. We are blessed to call this place home!”

Thanks, Jessica, and be sure and download that new FREE Beachcomber app for your iPhone!

FRIENDS OF THE BEACHCOMBER Lorie Pate, Chas Sandford, Scott Page, Darlene Mohling, Julie Stokes, Puran Jamnaal, Tanya Sanders, John Hollan, Daniel Lewis, Angie Head, Dan Hogan, Joanne Gardner, Jeff Dannelly, Adrianne Campbell, Mary Baker, Half Hour Happy Hour, MommyHatchet OnOn (????), Valerie Bogar, John Collins, Jackie Cole, Jackie Iula-Matichuk, Billy Harrell, Bob Tucker, and Beth Davis are just some of the great people who “like” the new Beachcomber page on Facebook.

If you’re a friend of the old Beachcomber Destin page, please make the switch to and drink in up-to-the-minute info, giveaways, videos and much more! We may even put your name in the paper to fill up space.