If someone wants to charge you $10 for parking, offer to pay $20.
Don’t drown or get attacked by sharks.
When driving, avoid all the “secret” shortcuts, even if you do know about them.
Clean up after yourself, always.
Support all businesses that advertise in Beachcomber. You know you’re in the market for a new car anyway, so why not head up to Crestview and see the friendly folks at Lee Buick GMC?
If you win $100 or more on a Florida Lottery scratch ticket, it’s common courtesy to split your winnings with the first local you run into.
When enjoying live music, the minimum tip is five bucks. More if the band plays your request. Which better not be “Wagon Wheel.”
Don’t complain about the traffic on 98, because it’s partly your fault.
Buy a copy of the local newspaper every day, even if the place you’re staying gives you freebies.
Never, ever take a selfie in front of the “Welcome to Destin – The World’s Luckiest Fishing Village” sign. It’s bad luck.
Don’t complain about thunderstorms, rain, tsunamis, etc. Just suck it up like the locals do, and park yourself in front of The Weather Channel for hours on end.
And while I’m at it, don’t let the “H” word escape your lips. Ever.
Please don’t ask us how we can stand to represented by the likes of Rick Scott, Matt Gaetz, et al., because we can’t.
Understand that “Stand Your Ground” applies only to fulltime Florida residents. So don’t be pulling that Wyatt Earp shit in the convenience store parking lot.
Under no circumstances should you feel obligated to grasp this whole “customary use” beach controversy. None of us can get our heads around it, either.
- Editor Manson
Dale Palmer’s “Oblivion,” recently seen at the Arts and Design Society’s Save the Earth/Organic show in Fort Walton Beach.