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Thursday, January 19th, 2012

Opening Remarks - This Is the Place to Be Infestin'

Inspired by the Walton County Tourist Development Council’s recent payment of $75,000 to Susanna Hoffs for a promotional song, the Destin Tourism Industry (DTI) hired Bunky Wonky to pen a tune for the World’s Luckiest Fishing Village.

Wonky is the wildly popular composer and singer of last fall’s big hit single “Don’t Be Ashamed of Yer Junk.” When he heard about the Hoffs deal, he remarked that he would have “let the TDC use ‘Junk’ for 50 thousand and saved ‘em 25 grand.”

The DTI agreed to pay Wonky $39 for the use of his tune “Infestin’ Destin” in advertising materials. The catchy choruses of Wonky’s early demo won over even the city’s most jaded music critics:

We’re blessed in Destin All the tourists are infestin’ Destin Suck in your gut and push out your chest in Destin

Here, the story gets interesting. Patrick Wilson of Beachcomber Music Award nominated Cadillac Willy was enlisted to play steel guitar on the recording in exchange for Wonky retweeting Wilson’s real estate listings. After Wilson discovered Wonky only had 17 followers on Twitter, he bowed out, as did Blue Lew, Homemadesoul, Billy Garrett, “Catfish,” Howlin’ Jack, and many others.

But Wonky pressed on. He was short on funds for the video, so he took his guitar down to the nearest Tom Thumb, walked up to the counter, and sang to the security camera. After presenting a VHS copy of the song/video to the DTI, he collected a check for $39 that he promptly cashed at Dodge’s Fried Chicken in Fort Walton Beach since he doesn’t have a bank account.

The DTI assemblage, after picking up a VCR at the Goodwill, was pleased with Wonky’s introductory verse (“My old lady’s head’s about to explode/Leave the kids at her mama’s and hit the road”), but then they got to this part:

There’s a party down at AJ’s Check out all the va-jay-jays

“Infestin’ Destin” was immediately scrapped as the Official Song of the Destin Tourism Industry. Several of the beefier DTI members tracked down the songwriter to get their 39 bucks back, but Wonky had already spent the money on beer and cigarettes.

This is mostly BS, but the TDC really did pay Hoffs’ people a boatload of money for what is at best a mediocre ditty. Any of our guys could have done a better job.



Tonia Shatzel, Dominic Kelly, Sean Kelly, Vicki Kelly, John Toombs, Beth Faulkner, Daniel Wade, Allison Hart, Joshua Lowe, Anthony Mellace, Angela Triplett, Nicole Samuelian-Ennis, Destin Rank, Greg Turbeville, Iam Cory, Leslie Pearson, Patrick Wilson, Karen White, Kimberley Wiemholt, Greg Alsobrook, Brian Hudson, Sarah Lewis, Carol Gilleran-Davis, Zack Rosicka, Doug Rainer, Jab Wilson, Renae’ Ward, Wendy Grant, Matt Miller, John Giles, Chelsea Rae Green, Don Pollachek, Florida Locals, Cristin Byrne, Ricky Stanfield, Eric Brown, Rockin Renee, Gary Essex, Dave Medders, Monika Crocker, Oliver Petit, Crystal Stinson, Herb Green Dabullyemcee, Anna Hemming, Bobby Johnson, Patrick Kelly, Teresa Miller, Dustin Andrews, Les Gonzalez, Scott Simpson, Matthew Ammons, Erin Pender, Wayne Hall, Lisa Nagy, Patrick Sims, Anne Winicki, Tim Wheeler, Jessica Horsley, Sonny Tina Lane Bruce, Cheryl Gerhardstein, Kaitlyn Foster, Becky Harold, Shawnette Hillard, Paula Smith, Vonne McAnnally, Jenifer Crouse, Shawn Leonard, Shandra Mintz, Mark Gamblin, Amy Mullins, Rick Zenni, Lisa Johnson, Brian Hester, Shelly Bush, Peggy Williams, Wanda Aman, Audrea Edwards, Kristin Powell, Melinda Beaty, Lee King, Holly Bridwell, Amanda Price, Tammy Clayton, Sandra Kennedy, Kerry Huckaby, Becky Forrester, Paige Burnett, Blair Vorbeck, Brenda Sullivan, Kimberly Thomas, Melissa Driscoll, Ali Axelroth, Debbie Sweetman, Jeff Jones, Brian Matthews, Shane Rider, Ella Salter, Julie Bennett, Johnny Hart, Gene N Sharon Evans, Deanna Lucky, Allan Sansom, Melanie Working, Susan Moody, Jacqueline Teal, Laura Bussey, Dennis Pillion, Hope Greenhaw, Steve Bowden, Tammy Weidenhamer, Shamika Brown, Wade Starwalt, Bp Sob, Betsy Vincent, Kendra Moore-Nixon, Jody Walters, Nancy Weidenhamer, and Sherry Harris are just some of the great people who “like” the new Beachcomber page on Facebook.

If you’re a friend of the old Beachcomber Destin page, please make the switch to and drink in up-to-the-minute info, giveaways, videos and much more! We may even put your name in the paper fill up space.

RIGHT: Beachcomber Editor Chris Manson with Nancy (“The Destin Dog”) Weidenhamer and a remarkably well-behaved Lilly (left) at the new Destin Dog Park.