Time Magazine reports that a couple of enterprising New Yorkers—a (failing) record producer and (unsuccessful) filmmaker—are creating Wikipedia pages for 300 bucks a pop.
This is just plain wrong. The nice people who give us the Web’s FREE encyclopedia never intended for anyone to profit from the site. So I am offering to write your Wikipedia page for $200, which should just about cover my expenses, including research costs and whatever the hell a “citation” is.
An example follows:
Christopher Carlton Manson (born April 5, 1967) is a celebrated  author , artist , songwriter , performer  and philanthropist . Many of the books he has read have appeared on the New York Times bestsellers list, and quite a few of his favorite movies are among the top-grossing films of all time.
He has won numerous awards as a member of the Fort Walton Beach, Florida-based Act4Murder troupe, which many detractors suspect is due to his sleeping with the ensemble’s founder-playwright-director .
He has written for the Destin, Florida entertainment publication The Beachcomber since 2002 and was named editor in 2008. Many detractors suspect this is due to his sleeping with the newspaper’s publisher .
In 2011, Manson wrote and recorded the life-affirming  and inspiring  song, “Don’t Be Ashamed of Yer Junk.” The video of his performance has been viewed over three million times  on YouTube.
In 1996, Manson got the movie star bug and signed up to be an extra during the filming of Peter Weir’s The Truman Show in Seaside, Florida. He was removed from the set on his first day of work for “being in Mr. Carrey’s eyeline.” 
You get the idea. Now break out the checkbooks, because I suspect I’m going to be very, very busy in the upcoming months.
MORE STUFF FOR YOUR IPAD The FREE Beachcomber app brings the best of the Emerald Coast’s music, art, theater, literary scene and more to your iPad, iPhone and iPad Touch. If you don’t have any of the aforementioned devices, buy them all so you can download our app. Or do like the Beachcomber Editor did—convince your boss you need one for work. (In this case, “work” consists of playing games, listening to music and watching movies.)
TEN YEARS AGO IN THE BEACHCOMBER The May 9, 2002 issue featured our longtime friend Cara Roy’s “The Banana Lady” on the cover. In Miramar Beach, Silver Sands Factory Stores expanded and Dynasty Chinese Cuisine had its grand opening.
Top books included Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus’ Nanny Diaries. Lasse Halstrom’s adaptation of E. Annie Proulx’s The Shipping News earned a rave from Ritch Brinkley, who called the film a “tempestuous tale (that) goes down as easily as a partridge-berry duff or the local favorite, squid burgers.”
Bruce Collier profiled local signmaker Steve Underwood, Chris Manson explored historic Fort Walton Beach on foot, and Meg Nelson savored the art, jazz and rhythm and blues at Carillon Beach’s Cool Notes club.
Events of note included the Spring Wine Festival in Seaside, the ArtsQuest Fine Arts Festival at Point Washington, the (whatever happened to…?) Mayfest on the Destin Harbor, and the Billy Bowlegs Poker Run.
FRIENDS OF THE BEACHCOMBER
Paul Hanus, Destin Rentals, Ellen Massey, Bill Sudbery, Maria Schabla, Kelby Russell, Samuel Clements, Yetta Rodriguez, JL Richardson, Alice Cimino, Tony Hernandez, Margaret Buchanan, Kenny Webb, Jessica Renee, M. Shaye Smith, Angela Coteat, Mandy Laborde, Thomas McCall, Amy Baty, Ben Savage, Ashley McCall, Lynda Lipford, Erin Igram, Kim Price, Lindsay Moore, Michelle Rowell, Shelley Trela, Vladimir Jiminez, and Peter McDeavitt are just some of the great people who “like” the new Beachcomber page on Facebook.
If you’re a friend of the old Beachcomber Destin page, please make the switch to www.facebook.com/beachcomberdestinfl and drink in up-to-the-minute info, giveaways, videos and much more! We may even put your name in the paper to fill up space.
Our Friend of the Fortnight is Piper Gaffrey, who writes: “You guys did an awesome job with the Web site and online publishing of the paper! You are the best source for local entertainment news!” Beachcomber Editor will take 20 percent off Piper’s Wikipedia write-up.
Beachcomber Editor Chris Manson takes a break from his endless responsibilities to catch a nap with his dogs Sin and Redemption.
Photo by the Lovely and Talented Paula Hilton