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Horrorscopes

October 10-23, 2019

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AQUARIUS

Jan. 21 ‑ Feb. 19

Although you have shown yourself to be rather smart and creative in the past, this October is not the month to try to re-create any of that. You would be smart, rather, to stay inside and do as little interacting with others as possible. Read books, watch movies, listen to some tunes, but DO NOT, under any circumstances, venture outside. And best of luck to you.


PISCES

Feb. 20 ‑ Mar. 20

It looks like you’re back in that needy boat of yours where you are constantly demanding support from family and friends. But again, you need to ignore this tendency to plead for support and take care of this by yourself. Leave everyone you know out of your current predicament. October will flow smoothly if you do.


ARIES

Mar. 21 ‑ Apr. 20

The generosity you have shown in the past is paying off again. This, plus your positive attitude, ensures you will always be successful in your ventures. Not just some ventures either, but ALL ventures. Keep up the good work, Aries…your success is an inspiration to all.


TAURUS

Apr. 21 ‑ May 21

Taurus, it’s commendable that you are attempting to make new friends this month. Especially since you’ve pretty much alienated all of your old friends with your bull-headed nature. It’s good that you’re trying, but don’t be surprised if this all turns against you. You have a reputation, after all, and people really don’t change. Especially you.


GEMINI

May 22 ‑ June 21

If only you could slow down, Gemini. Your busy lifestyle, described as “chaotic” by many, isn’t getting any less cluttered with all these new fall projects. You should really finish what you started this past summer before you move on to the next clump of madness. Overstimulation is not all that it’s hyped up to be, Gemini, so in the words of the great Taylor Swift, “You need to calm down!”


CANCER

June 22 ‑ July 22

It’s been a rough few months, Cancer, given the end of one relationship and the numerous attempts to start another. Your problem seems to be the unbearable mood swings you display on a daily basis. Wouldn’t it be better to try a steady hand rather than the explosive nature you usually present? Take a step back and re-evaluate, and maybe next month will be more rewarding for you.


LEO

July 23 ‑ Aug. 23

It’s admirable that despite your lack of friends, or anything resembling a social life, you remain so confident in yourself. Admirable, but it also drives any potential friends away. No one likes a know-it-all. No one likes a one-better-upper. No one likes a let-me-tell-you-how-great-I-am personality. Open yourself up to finding out who you REALLY are, Leo, and maybe you won’t be so lonely.


VIRGO

Aug. 24 ‑ Sept. 23

You still don’t get it, do you, Virgo? You are still over-analyzing and feeding into that perfectionist nature. This hasn’t worked for you so far, so why do you continue? Just jump in! Give it a try! Quit worrying about whether it’s perfect or what other people think. It’s sad that you’re so lonely, but you are doing it to yourself. Those colliding planets? It’s your own doing.


LIBRA

Sept. 24 ‑ Oct. 23

It’s your birthday month, and you are once again exuding so much brightness that everyone around you has to wear shades. This is the month where your focus is really going to pay off. Again. Your achievements are too great to list. Balance and harmony abound. And those colliding planets are spattering nothing but greatness.


SCORPIO

Oct. 24 ‑ Nov. 22

Your determination and attention to detail should pay off this month, Scorpio, but unfortunately will not. It’s just too much. No one can tolerate your bossy nature. October is just not going to be a good month for you, and you’ll be drowning in misery. Suggest hiding out for a little while longer, and maybe next month the stars will line up. Maybe.


SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 23 ‑ Dec. 21

Your love of adventure and need to try new things is going to be the end of you, Sagittarius. The stars are spelling out DISASTER as clear as a bell. Suggest trying something new from the comfort of your easy chair. Maybe one of those shopping networks, or just watch a few game shows. And that thing you do every Friday afternoon? Try being on time for once, or you may find that’s over for you, too.


CAPRICORN

Dec. 22 ‑ Jan. 20

Those whacked-out stars have finally taken a calming turn to the right, Capricorn. It’s time to venture out and try something new, but be sure to do it on your own. Do not, under any circumstances, try to bring anyone else into this thing you do. You are naturally ambitious, but that sometimes means you jump in without having a clue. Which is fine, but do it alone. Just saying.

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