Connect with us

Opening Remarks

Don’t Mess with Beachcomber

Published on

Editor Manson (right, sporting a head injury from his recent fight with the garbage can) and 99ROCK’s Woofy Ramone. Mr. Ramone will serve as one of the co-hosts of the Beachcomber Music Awards Chapter 11 happening Monday, Aug. 26, at Al’s Beach Club on the Okaloosa Island Boardwalk.

Recently, someone on Twitter called this publication “un-American” and said some really terrible things about us. And about you, loyal readers.

 

His body was later found in a Tom Thumb parking lot, an apparent suicide, but who knows?

 

Don’t mess with us.

 

Most of the haters come around eventually. It usually involves some light torture, mild verbal abuse, and good-natured toe mangling, but we’re often persuasive enough to avoid those tactics, fun as they may be.

 

Anyway, I’m happy to say that I recently went for my second post-heart attack checkup—with a real doctor this time—and the diagnosis read, “Healthy as #$%*.” The folks there said my blood pressure reading was the best they’d seen since they’d been working in the medical profession.

 

In case you were wondering, it was 116 over 72.

 

My doctor continues to encourage me to eat, drink and smoke whatever I want. He’s great. He also recommended that I scheduled a colonoscopy sometime in the near future, “but I’m not gonna twist your arm.” Like that’s even a body part that would be involved.

 

Did I mention this guy is the best doctor ever? The first words out of his mouth when he walked into the examining room were, “Did you notice how tan I am? The wife and I just got back from a vacation in the Dominican Republic.”

 

And I’m one of the reasons you get to take all those great vacations, Doc.

 

Anyway, with the Beachcomber Music Awards Chapter 11 coming up Aug. 26 (not to mention the pre-event event at Harbor Docks Aug. 19, but I did indeed mention it), I’m glad to see that most of us are still in reasonably good health and I look forward to seeing all of you in the next couple Mondays.

 

And if I didn’t show up at your big event recently, my sincerest apologies. I was working hard, trying to clear all those Friends reruns off the DVR.

 

Speaking of which, we got to the very last episode the other night, and the missus said, “Maybe we should just start over.” So I immediately ran upstairs and packed up all my stuff.

Love, Editor Manson

 

 

YOUR THOUGHTS AND COMMENTS

Dave, I just saw you’re a newlywed (Dear Dawn, Aug. 1-14 Beachcomber). My God, if you’re complaining now, you’re not gonna make it. Wait till you wake up and your wife is standing over you with a pillow deciding whether or not this will be the night she has the courage to smother you. Marriage is not for pussies.

– Rebecca Rush

 

 

I’m not impressed with your horoscopes (Horrorscopes, Aug. 1-14 Beachcomber). How horrible to tell people they will not be raptures [sic] into heaven. Keep your dirty hateful magazine. I will tell everyone I know how horrible.

– Anonymous Comment on www.beachcomberdestin.com

 

 

Editor’s Note: Isn’t “Heaven” supposed to be capitalized? You definitely ain’t gettin’ raptures!

 

Spread the love
Click to comment
Please Login to comment
  Subscribe  
Notify of

Trending