Jan. 21 ‑ Feb. 19
Mercury comes on strong, bringing an uncomfortably close scrutiny to your every move. Be ridiculously nice to everyone. Chips are about to fall, and you’ll wish you could depend on friends to help you through this disastrous period. Alas, friends have always been hard to find for Aquarians.
Feb. 20 ‑ Mar. 20
Neptune is wandering the heavens as though it’s lost. You will suffer from an onslaught of ennui that leaves you pondering the reason for your existence. If it helps to hang on to your ragged belief in some mystical religion, do that. You don’t have much of a background in reasonable, common sense life lessons to pull you out of a cavernous, deep depressive state.
Mar. 21 ‑ Apr. 20
Warm, gentle breezes. Multicolored flowers. Azalea and camellias. Peach and pear trees bloom. Longer days and milder nights. It’s a beautiful spring for Aries, and nothing but blue skies in the future.
Apr. 21 ‑ May 21
Venus flits around this spring, causing you to reconsider life. You have difficulty making decisions. You show tremendous doubt in following your intuitions. This shows a light level of intelligence since your instincts are universally horrendous. Follow someone’s advice on all matters. It doesn’t matter who’s giving the advice. They’re smarter than you.
May 22 ‑ June 21
Mars barrels along, disrupting any sense of normalcy you might have exhibited. You’re a loser, and the only way to play your hand is to bet against it. Always. If you could find a bookie that would take a weird bet, bet against yourself at every turn.
June 22 ‑ July 22
Normally, when travelling, you need a picture ID, a credit card, some cash and a cellphone. With Venus moving into Pisces, you need a contingent of highly paid mercenaries to surround you. You think life sucks when you’re at home? Take a trip and experience nightmarish events that will be newsworthy.
July 23 ‑ Aug. 23
Mars shoves its way into Gemini, and you’ll feel that power burble through your gut. It’s not gas or indigestion or even an ulcer. It’s not worms or exotic parasites. You’ll experience gastric pains and unseemly body odor and loud, noisy emanations that will render you immobile. Dark rooms or dungeons will lend minimal comfort.
Aug. 24 ‑ Sept. 23
Calling what you experience “mood swings” is like calling a cataclysmic family disaster a “bump in the road.” They haven’t invented a name for the emotional disorder you experience. But you don’t swing from high manic states to low dismal depths. You stay low. Way, way low.
Sept. 24 ‑ Oct. 23
If there was only one sign, the entire world wishes it were Libra. What a relief it would be for everyone to wake up just one morning and understand the joy and power of being born under the sign of beauty, love and justice. The greatest world leaders—and you can look this up—have been Libras. I’m pretty sure there’s something about this in the Bible.
Oct. 24 ‑ Nov. 22
Neptune is nuzzling around in Mercury and your perceptions of right/wrong, good/bad, and safe/dangerous are not trustworthy. Decisions regarding business, romance, health and the future will be made in error. When you’re forced to make a decision, consult the I Ching or throw a dart or something. You’re terrible at making decisions anyway.
Nov. 23 ‑ Dec. 21
You like travel, excitement and frolicking adventures. Who doesn’t? You won’t like any of those things after this month. Travel probably will lead to criminal charges. Frolicking leads to a prison sentence. Stay home. Avoid excitement. Stay away from frolicsome fun, whatever that might be.
Dec. 22 ‑ Jan. 20
Pluto throws its weight around, bumbling through your world like a bully in grade school. Toughen up in all areas of your personality. Don’t be such a wuss when people criticize you. People will complain about you behind your back and to your face. Their complaints will be 100 percent justifiable.
- Art Classes & Workshops
- Art Events
- Art Galleries
- Call to Artists
- Nikki Hedrick: 5 Ways You Can Support the Arts
- Robin Wiesneth: My Creative Kickstarts
- Bruce Collier: 10 Things I’d Never Write in a Restaurant Review
- Nikki Hedrick: Misconceptions About Vegetarianism
- Restaurant Guide
- Taco Variations and Cool Stuff to Look at in Santa Rosa Beach
- Where to Spend Your Happy Hours in Beachcomberland
- Aimee Shaffer: My Favorite Animal Events to Emcee
- Nikki Hedrick: 6 Things You Can Do to Make Your Wedding Day Easier
- “Hey!” 5 Musicians Who Inspire Cheryl Jones
- Beachcomberland’s Greatest Hits
- Bobby Tomberlin: My Earl Thomas Conley Top 5
- Drink On It – Blake Shelton’s Favorite Drinking Songs
- Joe Fingas’ Favorite Blues Men and Women
- Live Music
- Nikki Hedrick: How to Become a Concert Photographer
- Woofy Ramone’s 2019 Record Store Day Finds
Aimee Shaffer: My Favorite Animal Events to Emcee
In no particular order… The PAWS “On the Throttle” Poker Run. This biker-supported fundraiser, held every mid-March, brings together bikers who travel to several bars and restaurants in Okaloosa and Walton...
To get a bunch of people we love in a single issue. To inspire hateful debate on social media. Readers’ attention spans tend to favor shorter pieces these days. Are you bored...
David Simmons’ Top 25 Films of All Time
The Tree of Life (Terrence Malick, 2011) Selma (Ava Duvernay, 2014) Moonlight (Barry Jenkins, 2016) Cinema Paradiso (Giuseppe Tornatore, Italy, 1989) Persona (Ingmar Bergman, Sweden, 1966) There Will Be Blood (Paul Thomas...
Alaqua’s Hero Dogs: Headed for Hollywood?
Alaqua Animal Refuge is proud to announce that four Alaqua alumni dogs have been nominated for the national American Humane Hero Dog Awards, which celebrates the incredible relationship between dogs and people,...
Taco Variations and Cool Stuff to Look at in Santa Rosa Beach
If you love tacos and their variations, but want something more than a fast-food experience—such as servers, a full bar, comfy seats and cool stuff to look at while you eat—Red Fish...
Nikki Hedrick: Misconceptions About Vegetarianism
“I’ve been a longtime vegetarian, creeping up on that 20-year mark,” Nikki says. “These are the most recurring misconceptions I’ve experienced.” I don’t scream it from the rooftops. There are times...