Jan. 21 ‑ Feb. 19
You are under the water sign. How apt. Water is not your friend when it rises very quickly, catching you in an impassable arroyo. Muddy water racing south. Already full of flotsam and dead animals of all varieties. The water rises to your chest, your neck, and then you are covered. Three minutes without air…that’s all it takes.
Feb. 20 ‑ Mar. 20
The people you thought were friends aren’t your friends. The banks that loaned you money want it back. The people who used to work for you will not work for you anymore. The people who used to laugh with you aren’t laughing now. The full moon in Virgo understands this. It shines a bright light on a continuous run of calamities.
Mar. 21 ‑ Apr. 20
The Mars and Uranus connection creates a special time for you to consider the wonderful things life has offered and the many ways you have positively influenced others. You’re in the zone, seeing things clearly and thinking of all the wonders life offers. All numbers are lucky. All days of the week are productive.
Apr. 21 ‑ May 21
Mars continues to rampage through your sign. So much of life has been an uphill slog lately…it now becomes a hair-raising descent into the bowels of hell. You ever see the Tour de France cyclists careening around downhill curves at 50 MPH? Get ready. And it all leads to nothingness.
May 22 ‑ June 21
If you feel defeated, depleted, dejected and de-energized, it’s due partly to the new moon in Aquarius. It’s also due to your inability to cope with normal day-to-day situations. You’ve made mountains out of molehills for so long you’ve lost a rational sense of the difference between washing the dishes and having a loved one cremated.
June 22 ‑ July 22
You’ve set the bar for accomplishments so low that for years you celebrated a ridiculous series of “successes.” Getting your dog groomed is not a triumphant act. Finding the remote control might make you more comfortable, but it’s not a great achievement. Preparing a bowl of cereal for breakfast is not going to qualify you for stardom. Loser.
July 23 ‑ Aug. 23
You’re on the move, going places, and you feel content. YOU’RE GOING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION, AND YOU’RE GOING TO ALL THE WRONG PLACES! You’re not just going to places that are boring and mundane, YOU’RE GOING TO PLACES THAT WOULD SCARE THE BEJESUS OUT OF ANY SANE PERSON! Stop that. Now.
Aug. 24 ‑ Sept. 23
The Virgo moon gets in order but you fall apart day by day. Your paranoia hits its stride. You’ll wonder whether people will try to poison you. They will. You’ll fear that friends and family are trying to defraud you. They are. You’ll suspect that someone plans on fitting your car with a bomb. Have someone you don’t like start your car for you.
Sept. 24 ‑ Oct. 23
Your dreams aren’t much different from your reality because of your innate ability to turn wishes into action. Your accomplishments can’t be quantified, because the enormity of your body of work is unprecedented. To your credit, you accept the cavalcade of praises that come your way in an “aw, shucks” manner.
Oct. 24 ‑ Nov. 22
You’ve never been much on sharing. So if you think that anyone is interested in you sharing your endless tales of woe, misfortune and mistreatment, you are so very wrong. You’re a downer. The only downer anyone ever partied with was Quaaludes, and that was in the 1970s.
Nov. 23 ‑ Dec. 21
Oh, you’ve got ideas. Lots of them. But no one things that your plan for a vegan cupcake/gluten free pretzel/frozen goat’s milk yogurt store is a good one. You not only misread the public’s taste for stupidity, you mistake your idiotic ramblings for impactful prose.
Dec. 22 ‑ Jan. 20
You have a certain gift for stabilizing people around you. You have the ability to get disparate people to come to agreement. You help people form a consensus. The united front that you are able to get people to join is one that is absolutely positive that you are an imbecilic moron. A large group of educated, civilized people would pay money to see you attacked by a band of sick coyotes as though you were a crippled, musty farm animal.
- Art Classes & Workshops
- Art Events
- Art Galleries
- Call to Artists
- Coming to the CAA’s Bayou Arts Center…Pottery!
- Malt Shopping – American Single Malt Whiskey
- Restaurant Guide
- Where to Spend Your Happy Hours in Beachcomberland
- Live Music
- Relive the Summer of Love with EC Theatre Company July 12
- The Pauseandplay.com Record Roundup
- Visionaries and Dreamers
Hurricane Michael Over Six Months Later: Stephanie’s Story
By Carrie Hunter It’s May 2019, over six months after Hurricane Michael in Panama City. Stephanie, a young mother of three, walks through her gutted house. Rafters and beams are exposed. There...
Visionaries and Dreamers
By Nikki Hedrick Deborah and Jeff Badarak have two very different music projects gaining steam across Beachcomberland. The Visionaries is their vehicle for the classic songs they love, often presented as...
Relive the Summer of Love with EC Theatre Company July 12
Peace. Love. Music. Tune into the music of the ‘60s and take a musical journey with Emerald Coast Theatre Company (ECTC). On Friday, July 12, at 7:30 PM, ECTC converts its...
Pet of the Issue – Chip
Chip was born August 1, 2018, the same day Brandon’s first dachshund Nugget (a previous Beachcomber Pet of the Issue) passed away. “I wasn’t going to get another doggy so soon, but...
Susan Myers’ Legacy Lives on at NWF State College
Before her passing earlier this year, Mrs. Susan Pryor Sloat Myers decided to link her name with Northwest Florida State College’s Learning Resources Center with a one million dollar bequest. Today, her...
Thursday, July 4 AJ’S, Destin WILL & LINDA, 4:30 PM (Bimini Stage) CHASIN’ JAYMIE, 6 PM (Tiki Stage) DJ BOOM, 8 PM JAMNATION, 9:30 PM (Bimini Stage) AJ’S ON THE BAYOU, Fort Walton Beach CHRIS HAYES,...