Jan. 21 ‑ Feb. 19
You need to dress up in a sort-of parade outfit or pirate costume or something. Anything to draw attention to yourself. People have almost forgotten you exist. Do something really silly to at least let them know you still have a pulse.
Feb. 20 ‑ Mar. 20
You like to hug everything out. Ever wonder why people shy away from hugging you anymore? Hello? Some basic hygienic care might help. Deep clean your house, your car, yourself.
Mar. 21 ‑ Apr. 20
Life continues its parade of wonderful events. You get one surprise after the other, and they are all outstanding. Blue skies, gorgeous sunsets, and great food and fun. All good things coming your way.
Apr. 21 ‑ May 21
You don’t smile enough. If you think you’ve been dealt a short hand in life, hang on for what’s next. You’ll never see it coming because you’re so focused on a perceived slight that you’ve conjured up in your pitifully slack imagination.
May 22 ‑ June 21
The party is over. Just like it’s over for the Belgium soccer team. At least you were at a sort-of-weird party at one time. The U.S. soccer team never even got to play. The next invite you get will be to a macabre, Goth-like, Middle Ages theme party. DO NOT GO!
June 22 ‑ July 22
What in the world do you have to be aggressive about? Of all people, you should be meek and pitiful. Don’t demand anything—it will make you look silly. Stay in the back of all crowds.
July 23 ‑ Aug. 23
You are always so jovial and affectionate. Stop that right now. Being upbeat in these times has to be some kind of zombie-ish ignorance. Things are falling apart, and you’re going to stand there grinning? Work hard to not be ridiculous.
Aug. 24 ‑ Sept. 23
You are constantly trying so hard to relax. You’re killing everyone with this inane effort. Relaxation doesn’t come naturally to you. Embrace chaos and nervousness and saunter about in a frantic manner. It suits you better.
Sept. 24 ‑ Oct. 23
Your call in life is to make everyone comfortable and, in your natural style, lead those around you to greatness. The path to the top is clear. You know how to get there, now inspire excellence in everyone you meet. It’s easy for you.
Oct. 24 ‑ Nov. 22
Positivity and optimism are difficult when you are thigh-deep in muck and sinking quickly. There isn’t much to do. You had your chance and blew it. Relax—don’t fight it. Thrashing around won’t help.
Nov. 23 ‑ Dec. 21
That fire that burns within you isn’t desire or ambition. It’s an incurable form of acid reflux known as Esophageal something or other. It’s going to be tough to be outgoing when you’re burping all the time.
Dec. 22 ‑ Jan. 20
You think other people are stubborn? You can’t even make the minor changes in your daily routine required to adapt to modern living. Get off the sofa, get off you soap box, get off the runaway train taking you to the sad town called Isolation.
- Art Classes & Workshops
- Art Events
- Art Galleries
- Artist Joey McKenna Steps into Nature This Month at SoWal Library
- Call to Artists
- Adopt a Family for the Holidays
- Community Bank Invests $15,000 in NWF State College Students
- Making an Impact: Over $500K Awarded to Local Nonprofits
- Caring and Sharing: Café Thirty-A’s Annual Christmas Charity Ball
- Hold the Dishwashing, Please… Thanksgiving Dining Out Options
- North Beach Tortilla Co. Offers Sand and Sunsets in Santa Rosa Beach
- Overproof, Full Proof and Navy Strength Rums…and the Cocktails That Love Them
- Restaurant Guide
- Rosemary Beach Prohibition Repeal Wine Dinner Set for Dec. 7
- Where to Spend Your Happy Hours
- It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Hallmark!
- Local Film Screenings
- Reviews: Dafoe and Pattinson Shine in “Lighthouse,” Eddie Gets His Dolemite On
- Eric Paslay’s Favorite Live Tracks
- Live Music
- Rock Stars of Comedy… Gallagher Is Coming to Town
- The Pauseandplay.com Record Roundup
- The Record That Changed My Life: Al Alvarado
Harbor Docks Celebrates 25 Years of Thanksgiving Tradition
By Chris Manson Former Harbor Docks owner and Beachcomber contributing writer Charles Morgan credits longtime employee Ann Jones (a/k/a Miss Ann) with the idea of opening the restaurant on Thanksgiving Day....
Where to Spend Your Happy Hours
Baxter’s Bar & Grille 605 James Lee Road Fort Walton Beach 850-812-6868 When: 3-6 PM and 10 PM-Midnight daily. Closed Mondays (for now). Drink Specials: $3 wells, $2 drafts. Camille’s at Crystal...
North Beach Tortilla Co. Offers Sand and Sunsets in Santa Rosa Beach
By Lauren Sage Reinlie Northwest Florida has a new spot to unwind and soak up all the beauty the area has to offer. Chef Jim Shirley’s North Beach Tortilla Co....
Upcoming Stage Shows
FRIDAY, NOV. 8-SATURDAY, NOV. 9 STAGE CRAFTERS’ “THE PAJAMA GAME” Fort Walton Beach Civic Auditorium, 7:30 PM StageCraftersFWB.com Tickets are $25. Cast includes Tim Bartley, Terry Carnathan, David Chancellor, Gabriella Dedmore, Azhia...
Rock Stars of Comedy… Gallagher Is Coming to Town
By Nikki Hedrick Not many comedians reach household name status. Gallagher, by his account, has logged over 4,000 shows and over a dozen comedy TV specials, and has only been slightly...
Making an Impact: Over $500K Awarded to Local Nonprofits
The members of IMPACT 100 of Northwest Florida voted and announced recently the grant recipients for 2019, awarding five $101,600 grants. Representatives of each nonprofit organization named as a finalist were present,...