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Trend Me, Shape Me Anyway You Want

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Editor Manson’s dog Lilly agreed to help with this issue of BEACHCOMBER on one condition.

I always look at what’s trending on Facebook and Twitter, because I’m a sad and pathetic human being.


The week this issue was assembled, there was a thing on the ‘Book called “Here are 10 concerts I’ve seen and one is a lie. Which one have I not seen?” Like anything else that catches on with the social media crowd, it was a complete waste of time.


And nobody did it right. Over half the people in my news feed (all of whom I’ve unfriended) put 11 bands/artists instead of 10. It’s too bad Sesame Street moved to HBO, because we sure could use the Count on broadcast television right now.


Some people had a funny take on the game, like MAD magazine’s Joe Raiola. He listed a bunch of fake band names, but I was disappointed that Johnny Turd and the Commodes didn’t make the cut (see June 1977 issue) (of MAD, not Beachcomber).


Anyway, here are 10 things about this issue of Beachcomber. And one is a lie. Blah blah blah…


1. We’ve added a new “Pet of the Issue” feature, and we’re going to spotlight our own for the first dozen or so installments. So don’t bother sending yours in for a couple months.


2. The middle four pages are dedicated to a new and exciting event that launches May 12, the Northwest Florida Theatre Festival. The complete schedule is included, so if you go (and you should), you can just pull those pages out and throw away the rest of the magazine. But please don’t do that, because we worked really, really hard on everything else.


3. A handful of Okaloosa Island restaurants are advertising in Beachcomber now (see page 43), so you should eat, drink and tip heavily at all of them.


4. Carl Hiaasen has a few funny things to say about United Airlines.


5. Our regular contributor Joni Williams is recovering from surgery, so she couldn’t file a Brew Review this issue. Stay strong, Joni.


6. Bill O’Reilly apparently got fired from FOX News.


7. We’ve added a new feature called “Stream On” to review all those great Netflix, Hulu and Amazon shows.


8. Robert Downey Jr., Robert Duvall and Billy Bob Thornton will be at the Destin Library this month.


9. Don’t hold your breath on that new bridge connecting Fort Walton Beach and Destin happening any time this century.


10. We print 10,000 or more copies of Beachcomber. Every 1,000th copy of this issue contains a crisp new $100 bill, courtesy of our friend Jimmy’s ATM company.


Happy hunting! Beats spending all your time on Facebook lying about what bands you’ve seen.

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